The Father Friendly Factor

Are You Father-Friendly?

More and more men state that work-family balance issues prevent them from being a successful parent, and more and more women are saying that they want their husbands to be more available so that they can balance their work-family priorities, as well.

I was privileged to talk with several other experts on Kojo Nnamdi's NPR show last week - Work-Life Balance : A Male Perspective. As Generation Y men enter the workforce and become parents, they're placing more emphasis on their role as a father and are looking for companies who will do the same, even in tougher economic times.

With Father's Day just passed, it's a good time to analyze what are you doing for the fathers in your company. Many work-life programs offer parenting resources for both women and men, but with information and a style that is geared more for women. Maternity leave is a standard, but paternity leave is only starting to catch on.

Focusing on fathers will boost your bottom line - studies show that good fathers are better leaders - and it doesn't have to be expensive. Here are some ideas:
Include Men/Fathers In Marketing Collateral. If you're advertising a seminar/workshop or hosting a presentation, make sure the imagery includes men and fathers so that men feel welcome and at-ease.

Offer Literature Specifically for Fathers. Brochures/pamphlets with specific information for men on topics like balancing work and family, keeping children safe, and other parenting tips will get more traction among men.

Organize a Dads Group. Encourage men to meet over lunch and invite in guest speakers. This will give them a safe place to talk about fathering and support each other.
To see how father-friendly your company is, you can use a free diagnostic tool - the Father Friendly Check-Up. Offered by the National Fatherhood Initiative, it helps you pin-point strategies for becoming a more father-friendly organization.

Don't let your fathers get left in the dust during these tough economic times. With just a little ingenuity and resourcefulness, you can actively and effectively support the fathers in your company.

Reflect: How To Make Good Decisions

I just read this article over at the "Church Leaders Intelligance Report." You can read the entire article at: http://trackit.outreach.com/read/archive?id=4786&e=kenspeaks%40gmail%2ecom&x=241b03b4

"Carl Spetzler, director of the Strategic Decision and Risk Management Program at Stanford University, develops decision-making strategies for managers and executives making choices about everything from acquisition targets to international strategy. He offers this definition of a "good" decision:

The right frame. Assurance that you're solving the right problem in the first place.

• Clarity about what you want. You know whether you're trying to maximize value or to minimize damage.


• Creative alternatives.


• Gathering the right information, including information about uncertainty, which is essential if you want to choose the best alternative.


• Reasoning, which includes what you know and what you don't.


• A commitment to make it happen, since a decision is no stronger than its weakest link.

Refresh: National Day of Prayer

Today, is the National Day of Prayer. I was interested in this recent report that came out about the prayer lives of preachers.

You can read the report at: http://trackit.outreach.com/read/archive?id=4757&e=kenspeaks%40gmail%2ecom&x=0433bce2

The report stated: "According to the survey, the average Protestant minister prays for 39 minutes a day, although 21% typically spend 15 minutes or less per day in prayer. Although younger ministers are less satisfied with their prayer lives, this does not appear to be due to spending significantly less time in prayer. Younger ministers average 35 minutes a day in prayer, compared to 41 minutes among pastors 45 to 59 years old, and 38 minutes among older pastors. The typical pastor spends 32% of his or her prayer time making requests, 20% in quiet time or listening to God, 18% giving thanks, 17% in praise, and 14% in confession."

What do you think - Why don't you think preachers pray more?

Redesign: Twittering in Church

I just read this article at cnn. You can read the article at: http://www.time.com/time/business/article/0,8599,1895463,00.html?cnn=yes

Obviously I like this idea as far as people processing sermon information and being able to communicate to others what they are learning and thinking.

However, I do have to wonder if we should start having a ban on twittering in certain services so that we can truly hear God speak...

Redesign - A New/Old Way of Doing Church

I just reads this article about "house churches" at www.azcentral.com. This is an idea that I have been really thinking about over the last few months. I also just started reading Barna's book "Revolution" which is about the same idea. I kind of see this as a both and deal. We should have a time of all the church being together but we should ultilize the concept of the house church. what do you think.

Redesign: How to Lead Change in the Church

This article was just posted over at the "Church Leaders Intelligence Report."

How to Lead Change In his classic text, Leading Change, John Kotter offers insights into the mechanics of change. In particular, he explores the following eight fundamental qualities of successful change leadership.

1. Establish a sense of urgency. Wise leaders realize people have an aversion to change. Unless prodded to make adjustments, most people won't budge from business as usual. Since leaders are likely the first ones to sense the need for change, they must convey a sense of urgency by convincingly identifying the threats of staying the same.
2. Gather a guiding coalition. Before making the case for change to the entire organization, a leader should persuade fellow influencers of its necessity. In every company, a small group of stakeholders lay claim to a majority of the influence. Unless a change agent rallies these key decision-makers to his side, he will have difficulty garnering enough momentum to shift the organization.
3. Create vision. Before launching a movement for change, it's essential to formulate a compelling vision to support it. The vision should clearly spell out the rationale for making a change, and it should paint a picture of the preferred future that will arise as a result. The vision should be refined and simplified until it can be shared in five minutes or less.
4. Communicate vision. Human emotions tend to be drawn toward the discomfort and inconveniences of change. For this reason, it's critical to make every effort to communicate the value of change. Leaders too readily fear repeating themselves when they should be more afraid of their people misinterpreting the vision or losing sight of it.
5. Empower others to act on the vision.First and foremost, build margin for change. People's responsibilities continue in addition to their involvement in major change initiatives. Give them space to internalize the change and readjust their focus. Changing is a difficult endeavor. Be sure ample resources, meetings, and man-hours are being devoted to make it happen.
6. Plan for and create short-term wins. Often the scale of a needed change can be overwhelming. Whittle it down into bite-sized bits, and be sure to celebrate every milestone accomplished. Build upon small, short-term victories to infuse the team with momentum so they can carry out the full extent of the desired changes.
7. Consolidate improvements to extend change. At first, changes are fragile. They need nourishment and protection in order to take root in the organization. Be vigilant of hard-fought changes, and recognize that many of them will take years to be fully ingrained in the organization.
8. Institutionalize new approaches. The best leaders know change is not a once-in-a-while proposition. The process of change is ongoing. When leaders manage change effectively, they gain respect and earn the right to craft a culture where change is a regular, even welcome, aspect of the organization.

Adapted from "How to Lead Change," by John Kotter, Leadership Wired, Issue 1, 9/08

Reflect: You Are Going to Die the Way You Live...

There is a great article over at CNN entitled: You Are Going to Die the Way You Live." This is a great title and I think would make a good sermon series....

What do you think would be the best sermons for this series?

The article speaks about the fact that death is just a part of life and how a person has lived will also be a big factor in how the person will end their life.

As I reflect on this concept I hope that I have lived...

1. As a good husband that loved his wife as a soulmate and as a friend.

2. As a great dad who was involved, responsible, and committed

3. As a faithful servant of God whom God will be able to say "Well done good and faithful servant."

4. As a preacher of the Bible who always proclaimed the Word of God with boldness and conviction.

5. As a continual learner who always tried to improve himself and the situations around him.

6. As a hard worker who never forgot that his father modeled for him how to work hard in the coal refining factories of the midwest.

7. As person that was always optomistic and looked for the best in others.

If this is how I lived, then I know that I will die with peace and love

Redesign: Mormons Leading the Way

The Arizona Republic has an interesting article today about how illegal immigrants are dividing the church. The article points out how aggressive Mormons have been at reaching immigrants and that some don't consider whether those immigrants are illegal or not. You can read the article at the link above or at: http://www.azcentral.com/news/articles/2009/04/02/20090402ldslatinos0402.html

I think this issue will be one of major issues facing the church for the next 50 years. I wrote an article for churches on how to be more immigrant friendly. You can read the article at: http://www.christianstandard.com/articledisplay.asp?id=319

What do you think?

Should churches ask immigrants they reach if they are legal or not?

Refresh: Know the Signs of Burnout

I just read this great article over at the Christian Leadership Alliance about Burnout. I found it helpful and thought you would as well.

Both staff and volunteers at a church can be susceptible to burnout, even when they have a deep passion or calling for their work. It is vitally important that a pastor know the signs of burnout and remain vigilant about preventing it in those who regularly serve in the church.

Burnout is defined as a state of physical, emotional and mental exhaustion caused by long-term exposure to a demanding situation. Burnout is the cumulative result of stress. A person may be more prone to burnout if he/she:

Identifies so strongly with work that they lack a reasonable balance between work and their personal life

• Tries to be everything to everyone


• Holds a monotonous job


• Works in the helping professions, such as health care, counseling, teaching, law enforcement or the church.
  

Ask these questions to see if a partner in your ministry is experiencing signs of burnout:

• Do they find themselves being more cynical, critical and sarcastic at work?


• Have they lost the ability to experience joy?


• Do they drag themselves to work and have trouble getting started once they arrive?
  Have they become more irritable and less patient with co-workers, work partners or visitors?


• Do they feel that they face insurmountable barriers to their ministry?


• Do they seem to lack the energy to be consistently productive?


• Do they no longer feel satisfaction from achievements?


• Do they have a hard time laughing at themselves?


• Are they tired of people asking if they're OK?


• Do they feel disillusioned about their service or position?


• Are they self-medicating—using food, drugs or alcohol—to feel better or to simply not feel?
  Have their sleep habits or appetite changed?


• Are they troubled by headaches, neck pain or lower back pain?
  

Burnout can be overcome, but first we must understand its cause. Burnout can result from:

Lack of control. Perhaps a servant is unable to influence decisions that affect their ministry, such as the hours they work or the assignments they get. Perhaps they're unable to control the amount of work that comes in.

Unclear job expectations. Examples include uncertainty over what degree of authority they have and not having the necessary resources to do their work.

Dysfunctional workplace dynamics. Examples are serving with a bully, being undermined by ministry partners or having a leader who micromanages their work.
Mismatch in values. If their values differ from those of the organization or the way it handles grievances, it will wear on them.

Poor job fit. Working in a ministry that poorly aligns with their interests and skills is certain to become more and more stressful over time.

Extremes of activity. When a ministry is always monotonous or chaotic, they'll need constant energy to remain focused. Over time, this energy drain can lead to burnout.

As a pastor, maintain an awareness of situations that might produce burnout in yourself, your staff or those who serve. Do not allow the symptoms of burnout to go ignored. Like stress, burnout can have significant health consequences including fatigue, insomnia and weight gain or loss. It has the potential to put some people at increased risk of depression, anxiety and other emotional difficulties. Working in an environment that negatively affects your physical and mental health can affect your personal life and, left untreated, it can spoil a Christian's heart for ministry, the church or even God. Make it a priority to eliminate the risk of burnout from your church's ministry.

Christian Leadership Alliance, 8/11/08